I'm not interested in myself...?

Continued from previous blog:

I felt like I was hit by a bus and a giant wall was crumbling down in-front of my eyes.

I don’t know what I like…
Moreover, I’m not interested in myself, AT ALL!

I was so shocked by this realization after so many years of trying to be “what I want to be”, I lost my interest in my authentic self.
 I was only interested in “who I could possibly become”, and “what I can do to get there the fastest”.

Simple questions like, what do I like to do just for fun?  
If I don’t need to “become anything”, how would I like to spend my time?
I never even thought about that… for a very very long time.

This was a pivotal moment in my life when I decided to finally start investing effort and time into knowing my true authentic self, in order to start living my life how I truly want to live it- feeling relaxed, happy, and joy from within, instead of what looks good from the outside.

I started to journal to get to know how I was perceiving the world around me, what kinds of unhealthy expectations I had on myself and others, how my brain worked, etc.
This was the true beginning of my journey.